There’s a part of me that thinks it would be really funny to make a reservation for one, at a really expensive restaurant on Valentine’s Day, and just order a big lobster for myself. Now, realize for a moment that I’ve never had lobster, and I’m not entirely sure how the heck I’m supposed to crack it open and eat it… so that pretty much means I’d be a sloppy, grotesque, lone eater intently staring at all the moon-eyed couples in an effort to creep them the hell out. Yes, I realize that I need help. I still think it’s funny.
Fortunately for everyone else in the world, I’m happy to do virtually anything alone… except for eating at a fancy sit-down restaurant. I’ve done it before, usually when traveling, but I’m always astronomically uncomfortable when I do.
And truth be told… I’m also a bit on the “thrifty” side, so the idea of plunking down the cash for lobster, when I’m skeptical that I’ll even like it, doesn’t sound like the greatest of times to me. So, what’s the solution?
Enter the food truck lobster roll:
I had it on good authority from Yelp that the truck I picked was pretty decent. I’ve seen it mentioned on several “best of” lists, so when I realized it’d be more-or-less in my neighborhood on a Tuesday night… I decided it was time to track this mobile seafood-machine down and give it a taste.
Sure, it’s not fresh lobster straight off the hot boiling stove, and I assume that like most foods, there’s different levels of quality available, but I think getting a plain, butter-only lobster roll is a pretty logical trial run.
So, after spending what seemed like a 20-minute eternity driving to the truck’s current-but-temporary location, ordering, carefully carting my little bun home through some terrifying Los Angeles rush-hour traffic, and finally snapping a couple of non-blurry pictures while attempting to keep my cat from jumping on the table and sticking his whole face in my dinner… I sat down and took a bite.
And… honestly? I think it pretty much tasted like I thought it would. It was okay. I don’t think there was anything wrong with the quality of the lobster itself, but I can safely say lobster isn’t really my cup o’ butter sauce. I liked it a lot better than say, shrimp (I’m definitely what you’d call a non-squishy-food-texturalist), but other than fish I’m generally not a huge seafood fan. Seriously folks, they’re creepy crawly bugs of the sea. And I’m willing to bet it’d cost you a lot less to chow down on a giant tarantula.
The upside? If you ever take me on a date and I order the lobster, you can be pretty sure I’m deliberately doing it because I think you’re a major douchenozzle assclown. You’ll also get an up front and personal view of what I look like playing the role of a passive-aggressive, which I imagine is hilariously entertaining. I’m usually just plain old aggressive.