Those who know me will find this story a little hard to believe. Unlike the stereotypical fantasy-woman who quietly works herself to death with unappreciated busywork, always says “yes” to anyone who asks, and never asks for anything in return…. I am the exact opposite. In short, you could say I’m the Queen of “No”.
Which is why, while walking through a mall one day, it is surprising that when I was accosted by an aggressive kiosk worker, I didn’t immediately flip her the finger and keep on keeping on. And even more miraculous was that I actually bought a jar of overpriced salt scrub from her. With actual real-life money.
To be honest, I was pretty mesmerized by the saleswoman’s techniques. It wasn’t that she was aggressive (she was), but it was rather entertaining to be an interactive part of her little show. I couldn’t help but to gently mock her obvious sales “tactics”, just to see what her response would be.
Salesbot: We’re friends, yes?
Me: Yes, we’re totally girlfriends. Tell it to me, girlfriend.
Or, even better, when she decided to whip out her own cosmetic-counter version of negging.
Salesbot: You don’t like how dry your skin looks, do you? Look how dry your forehead is. And how about these age spots, right here…
(Pointing at spots which are, in fact, moles I’ve had since childhood).
Salesbot: If you don’t take care of yourself, you’re going to look old.
Me: So.. how old, exactly, do you think I look? I bet you’d be shocked to know how old I am.
Me: No, really. I’d love it if you could guess. What do you think?
(She smartly refused to answer).
And then she decided to also try and sell me on another product, which was some sort of $300 mud mask. I mean, there’s overpriced, and then there’s just obscene.
Me: So, will you sell it to me for $5?
Salesbot: I guarantee I can make you a great deal.
Me: Is the final price $5? Because I can only pay $5.
Salesbot: Come over here, and I can absolutely make it worth your while.
Me: Is it $5?
Salesbot: Well, no…
But like I said, I did indeed buy a jar of expensive salt scrub, because I genuinely liked the product when I was given the chance to try it out (and hell, she earned that commission). But because I really can’t stand the thought of paying for something I could most likely make myself, for a fraction of the price, and with minimal time; I decided it was time to give this home body-product-making thing a shot.
So, I found a bunch of different recipes on the internet about how to make a salt scrub, combined a few together to approximate what I was looking for and, ended up with this:
The Introverted Salt & Oil Body Scrub Recipe
3/4 cup fine sea salt
1/4 cup medium-to-coarse sea salt
(or use just 1 cup of fine sea salt for a gentler scrub)
1/4 cup sweet almond oil
1/4 cup grapeseed oil
2-3 drops of vitamin E oil
Throw everything together; mix, shake, or otherwise combine; and… voilla! Salt scrub.
Lesson of the day: Say “yes” just long enough to steal someone else’s process and replicate it for your own gain. (You do realize I work in Hollywood, right?)