Day 6 : Blue Velvet Cake

Blue Velvet CakeI feel like the good folks over Milk are missing a prime marketing opportunity. Sure, like myself, I imagine lovers of red velvet cake will be immediately intrigued by blue velvet cake. Is it chocolate? Is it just a different color? What IS it made of, anyway? But then, as a shop that caters to dessert-loving folks, you already have access to the type of clientele who would try this. You’re not really bringing in new people.

Now imagine instead, if this were marketed to David Lynch fans. You could literally do anything and they’d be delighted with the results. In fact, the weirder, the better.

– Try our Blue Velvet Cake! It’s banana flavored! *
– Try our Blue Velvet Cake! Every 100th slice contains an ear inside!
– Got a night of secret voyeurism planned? Take home some of our Blue Velvet Cake!

* Cup of coffee only available at our Washington location.

Sure, you will you get an influx of inordinately “interesting” people, but think about it for a moment. You’re not just bringing in new customers; you’re somehow managing to convince a number of vegan, health-conscious, Transcendental-meditating people to eat your cake. That’s some serious power. And while I’m sure a few of them will go home, feeling guilty for enjoying such a terrible pleasure; you can rest assured that you will have turned at least a few of them on to a lifetime of non-nutritive indulgence.

Alas, I got a regular, non-Lynchian slice of cake. It was sweet. It was different than I expected. But so I don’t spoil the mystery for anyone else who might be interested, I’ll only say this: it tasted like “blue”.


Thought of the day: It’s about time the good citizens of the world banded together to crowfund a software campaign that is able to automatically recognize and tag sarcasm on the internet.  It’s imperative that the satirically-impaired have access to all areas of the web, not simply the pages devoted to facts and straightforward cooking recipes.

And if it could also replace any instance of the term “MRA” with “Emotionally-Arrested Man-Child”… that’d save a whole lot of people time up-front.




Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *